drunk as fuck i was. but i do have memories in spite of all that, so it counts as memorable. i hate dancing except to music with accordions, pretty much. a grand ole time was had by all.

i've never been witness to an epic moment in music history.

i have transcribed most of it

IT IS TOTALLY FUCKING WORTH IT OKAY. you will lol forever, if logical inconsistency amuses you or if you're a total misanthrope like me who can only truly lol at human stupidity and unbridled hatred.

my opinion is shared with
the president
and secretary of state
and therefore
it makes me right

immediately after the pageant
judge number eight
started a cultural firestorm
in the media
and it went national
as he was trying to be self-promoting and hateful,
while i have remained
silent
except
for the countless interviews
and speaking engagements
and working closely with the national organization of marriage
and giving speeches at churches opposed to gay marriage
and going on conservative radio and television broadcasts
that continually voice their objection to gay marriage

i am proud to be an american.
i am proud of the freedoms we enjoy
because of our troops
which one was my grandfather
who while he wouldn't talk
about the battle he was in
(cue sobs) he did speak about freedoms
he fought for (sob)
and he taught me never to back down
and never let anyone take away those freedoms from me
which is why i will not back down in my fight
to take away freedoms from gay people

i was punished on that stage
for using my freedom of speech
it was not a case of judges using their freedom
of speech to vote for another contestant
rather
it was my assault on my freedoms
and constitutional rights
which
should
not
happen
in america
unless you are gay

in which case you should quietly understand
that god does not agree with you
no offense
none

i need to address some rumours
and hurtful attacks
on me
i am a model
and i'm a christian
first, i forgive you all (all of you)
second, i find it appalling that a
professional photographer
would release unauthorized and inappropriate images
taken on a windy day
which i was unaware of
even though in the photos i am staring right at the camera
with my titties out

finally,
i am excited
to continue on as miss california
and tell my story
about how a bunch of
mean
bigoted
gay people
full of hatred and intolerance
tried to take away
a beautiful
loving
christian
grandaughter of a veteran's crown

wouldn't it be a better world if we could all
agree to just disagree?
and i hope
while everyone may not like me
or agree with me
that at the end of the day
everyone can respect my rights
the way i disrespected theirs

to everyone out there, i hope
that i'm an example
to never back down
i hope you will take my story
and apply it to your own lives
i hope i've inspired others
to maintain
compassion
civility
respect and tolerance
while supporting positions that represent the exact opposite

just like to this day,
there are people
who still have the strength
of their convictions
to oppose equality for
blacks
women
and jews

i urge all of you to find the same strength when faced with the growing presence of gay activists
if you see someone speaking up for equality
don't be afraid to oppose it

wherever gay couple wishes to get married
be brave
like my grandfather
and stand up tall
and say
i oppose your pursuit of happiness

and never
never
never
ever
forget to always tell them

"no offense"

because that makes it all okay

-miss california, carrie prejean's press conference

the fake one.

lol.

weed-based
BC Marijuana Party
Planting Seeds Party
The Herb Party

mainstream
BC Liberal Party
BC NDP
Green Party of BC

we have this many fascists!
Western Canada Concept
Nation Alliance Party
British Columbia Patriot Party
The Progressive Nationalist Party of British Columbia
Western Party

fringe but not ridiculous
Communist Party of BC
Conservatives
Libertarian
The Sex Party
Work Less Party of British Columbia

weren't you totally discredited 10-20 years ago?
British Columbia Social Credit Party
BC Reform
Citizens Action Party
Democratic Reform B.C.

wants to join the usa
The Annexation Party of British Columbia

who the fuck are you
BC Refed
YPP-of-BC
Advocational International Democratic Party of British Columbia
British Columbia Democratic Futures Party
British Columbia Party
Link BC
The Moderate Democratic Movement
People’s Front

and the winner for best name evar is
The Platinum Party of Employers Who Think and Act to Increase Awareness
The Emerged Democracy Party of British Columbia
Party of Citizens Who Have Decided to Think For Themselves And Be Their Own Politicians

any suggestions? i am going in search of museums, art galleries, dim sum, and gypsy jazz at mehanata. music and beer a plus. shopping optional, but i love a bargain like none other.

rub i am still looking for a scarf.

but i will be taking advantage of the sales on things sparkly, engraving services, and the like.

my reasons for hating it haven't changed much since i went around in a jean jacket with punk patches and angsty political bullshit scrawled all over it. i'm too HARDCORE, you see.

1. conformity sucks
2. red and purple and pink hearts are harsh ugly
3. hetero people making out is gross, sry2say. i don't know if this is an asspie thing or if it's a political thing. yeah, i can be hetero and i make out, but i don't do it in public. this is honestly one of my few waspy english canada traits.
4. lines (or line ups, if you parlez canadian) seriously fucking suck
5. surprises are better than regularly scheduled events

so unless you know a super subversive, tastefully decorated, fully gay, sparsely attended, spontaneous valentine's event you can count me out.


ok i lied, i really dig the elementary school style cards. that part of valentine's day was awesome.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? have an abortion! wait, that was 2007. i failed to vote in a few elections. lol, sorry canada. i never thought i'd be one of ~those~ people.

2. Did you have any goals for the year? Did you accomplish your goals? got into grad school, i guess.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? someone on my fl did.

4. Did anyone close to you die? no. this doesn't bode well for '09, does it.

5. What countries/interesting new places did you visit? amsterdam, rotterdam, brussels, tulum (mexico), new haven (lol), british columbia's wine country

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? a better visa status, moar funding (come on italian film project)

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? my trip to the nevernetherlands and belgium seriously warmed my heart on valentine's day. the benelux is the shit.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? going to hurhurharvard, i guess

9. What was your biggest failure? getting a C in this stupid history class because i was mentally ill and stubborn and, eh, story of my life

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i twisted my ankle something horrible running out of a bar after i jacked this guy's cigs. i know, stay classy.

11. What was the best thing you bought? my happy vappy vapourizer. come on.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? viggo mortensen's

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? a certain ex comes to mind. fucking whiner capitalizing on my catholic guilt.

14. Where did most of your money go? plane tickets and rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? this shit is slightly repetitive. moving to boston, obvs. it's a great town.

16. What was the best month of 2008? july was great. there was this sense of 'last summer in vancouver' that made it kind of reckless and fun

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? fatter. you are weighing me after an italian christmas carbfest followed by a week in mexico, mind.
c) richer or poorer? way effing poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? shrooms, been more aggressive about securing cool research projects

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? smokin, drinkin, sexin. SO TIRING.

20. How did you spend Christmas? in vancouver, going for delicious real asian food i can afford (fuck you boston) and then gorging myself on italian food at my nonna's, smoking good product and trudging through giant slushy snowbank fjords

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? hell yeah, more times than i needed to. *shakes fist and also vagina*

22. What new interests did you develop in 2008? sewing, russian cuisine, museum studies

23. What was your favorite TV program? 30 rock and south park.

24. What was the biggest surprise? my sister going to law school. seriously, what?

25. What was the best book you read? journey into the whirlwind and the great cat massacre.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? mark ronson

27. What did you want and get? grad school, to move out of vancouver

28. What did you want and not get? more funding

29. What was your favorite film of this year? lamerica. is not what it sounds like.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i turned 25 and i spent it with my sister's friends and my friends. i think it was the day i figured out high school was over and my sister's friends are my friends too.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? if the coalition government actually worked. oh, the lulz.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? stupid bitch in chucks and non-skinny jeans and v-neck sweaters who didn't get the memo by day, old hollywood tartlet by night

33. What kept you sane? marijuana and exploring boston

34. Which celebrity/public fiure did you fancy the most? viggo viggo viggo, can't you see

35. What political issue stirred you the most? the coalition because i'm insular like that, italy becoming more and more fascist by the second, prop 8 because californians are drama whores...

36. Whom did you miss? my lil cousins, after i moved to boston

37. Who was the best new person you met? hank the graphic novelist (lives by the sea)

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. jj foley's does not dilute their bar shots

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: you're not gonna get this from any other guy

durrrr i am on my way to logan airport to try and return to canada via montreal, which is on stormwatch snowpocalypse until dec 22, to get to vancouver, which is on stormwatch starting the 22nd. LULZ!

so far only the flights eastwards are delayed but i am going WEST!

if i have cash left over from my cab ride i am spending it on BEER! and a BREAKFAST SANDWICH! and i'm sorry if this results in plane farts but i'll do what i can to prevent.

ETA: FUCKERY! logan has confined all the shitty canadians to this tiny tiny set of 3 gates. no duty free :( no airport bar :( NO BREAKFAST SANDWICHES but a stupid fridge full of pop and szechuan mandarin chicken salad that looks wack and about as sichuan as i am.

also, i have pants on.

also, they keep announcing how the flights to halifax are delayed and the flights to montreal have extra seats on them. the guy sitting behind me got re-routed to JFK last night because of snow, bussed to logan, and is now trying to get on a halifax flight. i bawwww for him.

pinkypinky78 annoyed the living shit out of me. it turns out my grudgewankery wasn't totally unfounded, because that shitty user is aria_star

lulz.

i posted this in the philosophy comm and i have a feeling that people who dabbled in this in undergrad or took philosophy in high school have already laughed at it and it's probably old meme but this shit is new to me, k? we didn't have to read the dreams shit back in political theory and we sure the fuck didn't read no Hobbes in motherfucking ~contemporary~ european studies unless some continental hack happened to make fun of him.

link so u can see ppl mockin me

Is Hobbes thinking about dongs or am I?
I am reading Leviathan. In part I, Chapter 2 (Of Imagination), Hobbes says:

as natural kindness, when we are awake, causes desire, and desire makes heat in certain other parts of the body; so also too much heat in those parts, while we sleep, raises in the brain an imagination of some kindness shown.

This is about wet dreams y/n?

also i looked up wet dream in french because i have to appear fluent in french to like pass grad school and stuff and such things come up in wank cultural studies. it's "pollution nocturne" which is exactly what it looks like to english-speakers... but i think that translation may be a crock since it only has 7000 google hits. then again, the french are nasty and have sex 24/7 and probably only sleep in cum-stained sheets so maybe there's no need for such a term.

tonight was the first time i saw "chicken of the sea" brand canned seafood products. i lol'd and took crappy cell phone pics as evidence i didn't end up needing, because he looked at me and was all "you mean you've never seen that before?"

imho chicken of the sea sounds like something you'd encounter in a nightmare. it would look kind of like archaeopteryx, except more scaly. ew, i'm creeping myself out.

also wtf tuna does not taste like chicken.

idk why but i am having issues with this food i just tried, taramosalata. if you don't like links, it is a spread made out of cured carp roe and olive oil that looks like small red caviar mixed into that shitty marshmallow spread.

it's really rich and delicious and not as fishy or as salty as you'd expect it to be. it tastes amazing on bread. it is the perfect addition to any crudites or mezze. but i always fear eating it.

i know it tastes delish, but i have issues around it. i think it's because the first time i tasted it i was really afraid that it would taste like cum.

god, that wikipedia picture is just disgusting. it looks more like this:


in addition to my lifelong fear that things besides cum will taste like it, i think the problem here is that it actually looks revolting. the texture and the colour are just so unappealing, yet it is seriously tasty shit. i don't think i could eat the one with food colouring if you paid me.

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO WILLPOWER LEFT WHEN IT COMES TO DESCARTES AND HIS SHITTY MEDITATIONS.

not even the promise of getting through the 6th one and moving on to thomas hobbes holds any appeal :(

my sister wrote "life is 'nasty, british, and short'" as a hobbes quote on an exam once. i think the word she was looking for was 'brutish'

put aside the grossness that is bathing somewhere chicken is cleaned or whatever, and put aside your disgust that nobody taught them how unsanitary this is.

there's something cute about the dumb teenagers bathing in the KFC sink. well, not the act itself, but the fact they describe their girls at KFC as a family. it reminded me of working at the banquet hall and the church supply store when i was there age. nothing brings teenage girls together like a bunch of old italian ladies nagging you, or a crazy ass religious store owner with borderline personality disorder. lol.

i know what i want for christmas, but i should have specified this earlier because people probably already bought me stuff.

-alcohol. a nice sauternes or barolo would be great.
-winter stuff like hats, gloves, scarves, neckwarmers... especially hats with ear flaps!
-expensive shampoo from fancy places that is good for brittle, dry, frizzy, curly hair


oh and i have a recipe for you if you like coffee and if you like peanut butter and jam sandwiches:

PBJ COFFEE (or you can refer to it by the more cutesy 'pbj for grownups')

-coffee
-chambord (a shot or half a shot)
-frangelico (same as above)

seriously, it's good! i was sceptical because i totally hate coffee with fruit flavour, but it's awesome.

i have to stop reading the comments sections of websites:

( for some reason, the prime minister has chosen to directly address the nation and I CANT FUCKING WATCH IT :( hahaha )

4. the shame is all for you, pal. get a goddamn socials textbook and learn about your country's constitution. look up the difference between a minority government and a majority government. look up coalition government. look up governor general. yeah, our head of state ... is a viceroy. sexy.

update: he just used the soapbox to get some talking points out. nothing was announced. what a waste of taxpayer dollars/time/whatever.

he is meeting the governor general and is probably going to prorogue parliament. this is without precedent, which is a big deal because our rules of governance are based largely on convention. the role of the prime minister isn't mentioned once in the constitution, so precedent is all we have to go by in terms of judging whether he is overstepping his bounds.

so, the new republic had an article about how slavoj zizek is a VERY BAD MAN.

our conversation about it was funny.

him: he loves violent revolution and he advocates it ... he is a communist!
me: no, the communists only really wanted one revolution. zizek just sees violence as inevitable. it's cyclical.
him: whatever, sort it out with the politburo. these details bore me.

i still don't know why it is so damn threatening to liberal americans that there's this academic crazyman out there writing freudian/marxist cultural theory that discusses violence on a macro level, that sees basic, low-level subjugation (eg your boss being a dick, getting on your knees for a bj, little things like that) as part of the same kind as an all-out state-on-state bloodbath war.

gucci socialists are not the enemy. what would friggin zizek do without his grants, publishing deals, and other trappings of liberal democratic universities? he isn't inciting revolution. guerrillas aren't about to bring him up anytime soon. at that point, we can talk. when actual killing begins in his name, and not just cultural studies papers of dubious relevance, let's call him out for endorsing war.

it's not hate speech and it isn't inciting people to kill. it's just some shit a guy wrote so people who have very bad feelings about society can dwell on all the violence and alienation.

read some zizek! do it for the lulz!

slowly, and not surely but it would be nice if harper no longer ran shit.

he's really not canadian at all. i'm not talking about his cuts to the arts or his talk of privatizing some medical services. yeah, medicare is kind of a sacred cow - the way some people talk about canada, you'd think it's a giant fucking hospital and not a country.

he is uncanadian because he:
-doesn't hold free and frequent press conferences, electing instead to deliver soundbites via a press secretary. lol, like the president.
-he muzzles his members of parliament
-he rarely participates in the scrum. the scrum is like, our proudest political tradition. every day, the media waits at the bottom of the stairs to the prime minister's office, which also enables them to block the main entrance to the house of commons. they swarm every politician that tries to go in and out and harass the hell out of them like a bunch of paps on britney.

canadians have nothing better to do than care about the house of commons, so this is sad.

also, it really annoys me how everyone thinks the liberal-ndp coalition is going to accomplish anything. i wish they could get the bloc on side and actually have a majority coalition, but the quebecers in the liberals would never allow separatists in their government. meh.

anyway, i hope this works out, if only to see harper's shitty face all sad and dejected.

THIS IS WHAT AN ASSHOLE LOOKS LIKE

i've been informed that thinking ahmadinejad is cute implies that i'm attracted to holocaust deniers, and that thinking putin is hot means embracing russian neofascism. OH OKAY.

i like old men and i cannot lie.



it can be kgb interrogation sex time nao pls?

i JUST figured out that black friday and buy nothing day are the same day. lol, adbusters, FAIL. and a big ole FAIL to me, too. i should be better at keeping fake holidays apart.

i remember the first time i heard about 'buy nothing day' was from these college hippies who were waiting til midnight so they could go to t-ho's and buy themselves coffee and donuts as to not violate the sanctity of the anti-capitalist high holiday.

i feel like i have to write this somewhere because this issue is making me insane to the point where i am being rude to folks online and also in person and i intern at a queer-oriented place and it just comes up every fucking day and i'm not even a nice person to begin with and no, this won't end well.

i am soooo fucking tired of people linking obama's election to the passage of prop 8. there is an incredible degree of overlap between the two groups because the vote was held on the same day, but the process in deciding who to elect and what to pass is contingent on so many different things.

this is not restricted to the outright racist dan savage type outbursts. even a simple "i don't believe that society has changed so much that a black man can be elected president but that california can vote down gay marriage" is just such an incomprehensible reaction to me. progress is incremental, and i just don't see (as in i totally and completely fail to see) how someone can say that and not expect that they may come off a little bitter that another group got a little more enfranchised that day.

it's not all going to happen at once, and you may not be first in line. hell, half of your identity may benefit before society embraces you as a whole.

notwithstanding the fact that extending rights by referenda is totally fucked and exactly what the greeks were talking about when they warned us about democracy, the matter of whether a single person would make a good president and the matter of which rights should be extended to which people are two entirely different things. i don't think it's counterintuitive that california (on the whole) can decide that this particular african american guy is suited to be president but that same-sex couples in general can't marry. ever heard some racist twit say "but he/she is one of the good ones?" yeah. voting for obama need not imply a voter's attitudes towards african americans or social liberal causes in general - hell, he waffles on the issue himself.

so i work at this gay bastion of gayness, and i love it... but prop 8 is making me hate it. if you want to win the ballot measures, you have to play it the way the winners do. we can't rely on the same 10 gay millionaires when we are up against huge churches (remember how that tons of little donors thing worked for obama, and for harper in canada), and we can't rely on the same political organizing when we need to make inroads with groups and communities that lgbt rights orgs have failed to reach out to in the past. the movement has gotten less white since i first participated in things 10 years ago, but there is a ways to go.